The Rockies visit the Nationals, and I haven’t been this excited since the season premiere of “The Real Housewives of Orange County.”

Both teams, like this scamdicapper, can’t wait for the closing credits to the 2026 season.

Colorado’s rookie Gabriel Hughes is still searching for his first win.

He’s 0-5 after eight starts, allowing 22 runs over his past 18 ¹/₃ innings.

Hughes has watched a ball leave the park in each of his past four games.

The Nationals’ Jake Irvin has lost three in a row, giving up 13 runs over his past 15 ¹/₃ innings.

And, oh yes, Irvin is 0-4 at home in Washington.

So go ahead and pick your poison.

We will take the Nationals for $50 (-119, DraftKings).

Gabriel Hughes starts for the Rockies on Thursday. Mark J. Rebilas-Imagn Images

The Cubs’ bats were as quiet as a school library in August.

Matthew Boyd was good (one run, three hits over six innings), but Eduardo Rodriguez was better (two hits over seven shutout innings), and the Diamondbacks blanked the Schlubs 2-0.

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